Saturday, October 26, 2013

My Purpose

Have you ever wondered what your purpose in life is as a mom. When you are a natural caregiver it can be hard to find your purpose. As a mom we have so many roles to play that at times we lose ourselves. Society doesn't always paint a pretty picture of what a mother is. So how do you know the path you are taking is right? Many moms spend most of their time and energy pursuing personal dreams that benefit people outside of their home. That they end up neglecting those that are important inside their home. Don't get me wrong I do understand that every family is different and every mom can't be a stay at home mom. I have friends that wish they didn't have to work and were home with their children. I'm speaking about the mom that needs material things to define who she is in a society that could careless about her or her family.

When my husband and I decided to start a family it was not an easy task. After trying for many months we realized that we were having fertility problems. I wanted to be a mother more than anything in the world. It was so disappointing to sit in the doctors office only to be told your not pregnant. Eventually after much disappointment and prayer God blessed us with a solution to our problems which was In vitro fertilization (IVF). So for all my pregnancies I called the doctor and scheduled In vitro fertilization. God blessed us to get pregnant each time with the first attempt. This is when we decided that I would be a stay at home mom. I did not want to risk losing my unborn child due to stress or anything else. My pregnancies were normal no complications. But when it came to deliveries that was a different story. My first born Ben's birth was perfect besides the fact that he wanted to stay in me and extra two weeks. My middle son Malik had complications because of the cord being wrapped around his neck. My last child Jaedan's delivery took forever because I had a very large fibroid tumor that was blocking his exit.

So when my children became old enough to attend school I enrolled them. Early on I noticed that my two oldest struggled but I thought they were just being boys and that they would grow out of it. At the time I really liked the school district they attended. As time went on some of the struggles got harder and we knew that extra services were needed. So we entered the world of special education. Both boys had IEP's Bennett was given the label learning disabled (LD) and Malik was labeled cognitively impaired (CI). But these children were a gift from God to us so how could something be wrong with them? In my eyes my babies are and were perfect. Once they were given a label I knew that I had to become an advocate for them. I took advocacy classes at a local nonprofit. I researched and read everything I could find on their said label. I made myself known at their school by volunteering and raising money. This was the least I could do for all they were doing for my children. But in the end the system felled us. So after much prayer God placed on our heart to bring them home.

When I brought Bennett home I was a wreck. My fears and lack of education haunted me. But then I realized that God was in control and that I needed to trust that He would help me through this. All I can say after three years of homeschooling God is good and I have found my purpose. I have watched my children excel in more ways than one. The journey we are on is not easy but with God's help it is attainable. There is no greater place of ministry, position, or power than that of a mother. I am glad that Christ is the heart and soul of our home.


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